Thieved the theme for today's post from Dan off of Oddness...
. I was reading his site the other night when I came across a list of things to do before you're thirty. It was the best one of these that I have seen in a while and I had a go, the results of which I will (maybe stupidly) share with you.Things to do before you're 30
1. Have a really stupid accident that necessitates a hospital visit
When I first read this I could not think why you would need to go to hospital because of a really stupid accent. Perhaps because you were fom Birmingham. Anyway once I remembered how to read I also remembered a time when I was around six and I tried to climb over a baby gate at the top of the stairs. The baby gate was not meant to allow kids to cross that way and both me and the baby gate fell down the stairs with the gate falling on top of me.
2. Shoot something
With a gun??? I shot tin cans with an air rifle when I was a kid. I also made a target and shot at it; in the process realising how hard it is to shoot. I will give this one a yes because in an exam I would have answered the question even if I would have got a poor mark.
3. Take a weekend break more than 1000 miles from home
No, I think my furthest weekend break has been Blackpool or Derby - not sure which one is furthest, either way no where near 1000 miles. Must work harder on that one.
4. Boot Linux on your home PC
Why??? Have considered putting it on my work PC because I don't like the guys in IT. Some of them have about as much knowledge of computers as my Gran and it would be funny because they don't know what to do if it is not described in detail on an official change request form.
5. Get lost in a country where you don't speak the language
Everyone gets a bit lost when they go on holiday, that's happened to me in Spain, France, Germany and the Netherlands. I even got lost in a service station in Luxembourg but it was quite easy to work out where you are when the country is the size of a service station.
6. Spend more than your monthly income on a pocket-sized gadget
What was my monthly income while I was a student - about 200 quid, so yes I have done this one many times over.
7. Post bail for a friend
Never had to. Would I if a friend needed it? I think that depends on how funny their crime was.
8. Break a really large plate glass window
I have kicked footballs through three plate glass windows so I am now an expert in this. They do not break the way they do in the movies!!! After the first one you think that that was an anomaly but really, they don't. Bus stops - that's a different matter, the ones aorund where we live are shattered into a million pieces every weekend.
9. Make a parachute jump on a hangover
On a post I left some time ago I spoke about not using your heart condition as an excuse when it probably doesn't affect what you are about to do (what you don't want to do). There is one exception to this - Parachute jumping. I have congential heart disease, therefore, I can't do that.
10. Use a whole role of gaffer tape in one day
You know that when they wrote this one they had visions of kidnap and exciting things in their minds. I will just say yes to this one but leave you guessing - it is better this way.
11. Make a pointless modification to your house
I have a confession, Me and my Wife (Sharon) knocked a wall down in my house because the wallpaper was hard to remove. There, I've said it. It was this weekend and I swear that it wasn't my idea. I just knocked the wall down and rebuilt it, I didn't have the idea in the first place.
12. Neck a pint of peppermint oil
I'm sure I can see someone do this on YouTube, I haven't looked, I just know that it will be there.
13. Pull a shemale by mistake (but realise in time...)
Thank god I can say no to this one....I didn't realise in time. No,no, only kidding.
14. Buy a samurai sword
If I hadn't met Sharon and got married then there may well be a samurai sword on my wall right now but I did and there isn't and I'm sure my Wife is very thankful about that.
15. Delay paying a bill until the summons arrives
Yes, haven't we all. Maybe the question should be "delay paying a bill until the utility in question gets shut off". Then the answer would be no, I think.
16. Destroy a speed camera
If I get caught by one then I may well go back and destroy it but up to now the answer is no.
17. Refill an inkjet cartridge
My MSc Research project involved me refilling experimental inkjet cartridges every day for two months. I still have nightmares about inkjet cartridges.
18. Say something obscene on national televsion
The only time I have been on national television was as a mascot for Liverpool FC and I was eight. If the microphone overheard me discussing Manchester United with Alan Hansen then that is not my fault. No, actually I have never swore on national television but if someone will give me the chance then I'll be sure to take it.
19. Do a J turn in order to beat somebody to a parking space
I tried to do a J turn once. For those of you who don't know, a J turn is when you turn your car around 180 degrees whilst driving it and carry on in the same direction. Needless to say I turned the car about 90 degrees and gave up.
20. Break a sledgehammer
Sorry Dad, but I have fixed it and you can have it back now that the last fireplace is out and all the wallpaper is off the walls.
21. Make a bomb
I was a science geek growing up in a small village, need I say more.
22. Smash a CRT
I've done this at the tip but I think the tip is to smash it whilst it's switched on. The cathode ray tube is supposed to implode according to my IT teacher at school. Again I think I will refer you to YouTube.
23. Require medical treatment as a consequence of kinky sex gone wrong (STDs don't count)
Aren't I glad that the answer to that is no.
24. Tip a waiter with something other than money
No, but now I have lots of ideas.
25. Light a fire with petrol
Is there any other way??? Serious part now, never light a fire with petrol, it is dangerous and is now far too expensive to be used as fuel.
26. Kidnap someone
In University halls in the first week the girls from a few floors below were playing a drinking game involving dares. One of the dares was to be tied to a swivel chair, gagged and put in the lift going up and down all day. They thought it was really funny when the lift doors opened on each floor and there was a girl tied up in the lift. What we thought was funny was when we wheeled her out of the lift onto our floor. So the answer to that question is yes.
27. Park inside a motorway service station
I don't quite understand this one, who parks inside a service station, don't they have bollards.
28. Own a convertible
Our car converts into a skip, does that count?
29. Live abroad
To live somewhere I think you have to be there more than 60 days, so no.
30. Drive at more than 140 mph
Even if I had do you think I would say yes on a blog. I heard the police have internet access now.
31. Get something for free through a masterpiece of compaining
I'm sure I have done this many times but none I can recall right now.
32. Give yourself a mains electric shock
I wanted to strip the insulation off a telephone cable so I bit the end of it and it bit me back with 50 volts. My friend then did the same thing after watching me do it. We both have master's degrees in engineering and are doing PhDs, so when the newspapers talk about the lack of good science graduates you can recall this little tale. I think that 50 volts is not mains though (that is 240 volts - 5 times the fun). I shocked myself on the bathroom light switch at my parents and that must have been mains.
33. Completely dismantle an object larger than yourself
Does the wall I took down this weekend count. I dismantled a shed not long ago, if dismantle and hitting with a sledgehammer are the same thing.
34. Write off a car
Fortunately I've always been lucky in that department.
35. Fall asleep and get really hilarious sunburn
I did this, it hurts. Wear suncream it is important and especially make your kids wear suncream.
36. Get drunk on absinthe
Never absinthe on its own. I wanted to stay away from pink elephants they sound scary, I watched fantasia when I was a kid and that made sure that I would never get drunk soley on absinthe.
37. Stay up all night listening to a girl have an emotional crisis
38. Lick the terminals of a 9 volt battery
Everyone has done this, otherwise you have the part of your brain where curiosity resides missing.
39. Take part in motorsport
I went rallying with my Dad in Ford Escort Cosworths (I'm no expert in these things) at Oulton Park, he beat me by one second which is still hard to admit to this day.
40. Stay at the office for more than 24 hours
You won't catch me doing anything as stupid as that.
41. Set off a fire extinguisher
I'm convinced I've done this at some point but I can't remember where. Perhaps it was a dream.
42. Drive at least 600 miles in a day on two lane roads
I don't think I've ever done this but I'm not 100%.
43. Hotwire a car
I'm from Liverpool, so no, I've never hotwired a car. It's just not fashionable anymore.
44. Watch all the Monty Python films in one sitting
You know, I've never watched one all the way through. You never plan to watch a Monty Python film they just happen to be on the channel that you are watching.
45. Sleep with an ex-girlfriend by mistake
No, this has never happened to me.
46. Dial 999
How many stupid people have I phoned 999 for. There was the girl who got ran over and broke her leg and then tried to run away when she heard the sirens; there was the lad who tried to throw a glass bottle at someone but hit his girlfriend in the head by mistake. There are many more from when I lived in Manchester city centre and saw the result of everyone piling onto the streets at 2 am. Thankfully that doesn't happen any more: I moved to the suburbs.
47. Commit a faux pas which means that a friend will never speak to you again
There have been countless 'he's standing behind you' incidents over the years but are they really friends if you are saying bad things about them behind their backs? You all know that the answer to that is yes.
48. Make a bet you couldn't afford to lose
I was a bookmaker for four years - a great way to get yourself through university is through other peoples losses - so I saw a lot of people lose what they couldn't afford to but I have never made a bet I couldn't afford to lose.
49. Read a 500 page book in one sitting
How long was the fourth Harry Potter book. Do children's books count?
50. Escape a perfectly justified parking ticket
I had pneumonia and couldn't escape a parking ticket so there is no hope any other time.
Paul's score: 24 done, 22 not done, 4 maybes
Dan's score: 27 done, 19 not done, 4 maybes
I'm only 24 so I have a good six years to go. I have put Dan's score in as it is the only person that I can compare with so please put your own scores in the comments section so that I can see whether or not I am normal.